


Those Kids Were Fast as Lightning

by poisonivory



Series: Defenders of the Second Grade [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Iron Fist (TV), Luke Cage (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:13:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonivory/pseuds/poisonivory
Summary: Coach Stick's teaching methods may be unconventional, but they work. Sort of.





	Those Kids Were Fast as Lightning

**Author's Note:**

> More silliness from [my elementary school AU](http://pluckyredhead.tumblr.com/tagged/elementary+school+au), where everyone is alive and no one's powers are secret. I'm not sure why the elementary school allows Murder Class but there you have it.
> 
> Title is, of course, from "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas, and this fills the "flying spin kick" prompt on my Daredevil Bingo card.

Mr. Urich had just settled his class down with some subtraction worksheets when Ward knocked on the door. “Coach Stick sent me to pick up the dumb babies for his dumb baby gym glass,” he grumbled.”

“Ward, don’t call my students dumb babies,” Mr. Urich said sternly. “You were a second grader too, once.”

“Sorry,” Ward said, not sounding sorry at all. Second grade seemed like a long time ago when you were a lofty fifth grader.

“Hi Wardy!” Joy called from the back of the room. Ward pretended not to hear her.

“All right. Matt, Ellie, Danny, Colleen, and Davos, please line up,” Mr. Urich called.

Matt, Ellie, and Davos formed a tidy line by the door. Colleen stopped to hug Misty on her way to the front of the room.

“Remember, we’re best friends so you have to teach me everything you learn,” Misty said.

Colleen nodded seriously. “I promise.”

“What?” Foggy stood up. “Matty, will you teach me everything you learn?”

“No, Foggy, you’ll hurt yourself,” Matt said, looking distressed.

Mr Urich cleared his throat. “Danny? Danny, please unfold your worksheet and go line up.”

Danny unfolded the paper hat he’d made, ran to the front of the room - “No running in the classroom, Danny!” - and collided with Davos. “Hi, Ward!” he chirruped, beaming.

“Dumb baby,” Ward whispered. Danny didn’t hear him, but Luke, sitting at his desk, glared at Ward and clenched his fists.

“Okay, come on,” Ward said, and slouched off down the hall towards the gym. Four of the second-graders trotted obediently after him. Danny veered off twice until Ward finally took Danny’s slightly sticky hand in his and tugged him along.

“You’re late,” Coach Stick said when they arrived at the gym. “And don’t make faces at me.”

Looking pale, Ward pulled his tongue in, wiped the stickiness from Danny’s palm off on his khakis, and hurried back to his own classroom.

“All right, go change,” Coach Stick said. “Last one back does extra laps.”

The kids bolted towards the locker rooms, Ellie pushing Matt and Colleen in her rush to be first. Fifteen minutes later they were dressed in keikogi, warmed up, and moving through their forms - except for Danny, who was running laps.

“What is the best way to kill a man?” Coach Stick asked. “Davos!”

Davos stepped forward into a palm strike. “With honor, and a soul as pure as mountain snow!” he shouted.

“Colleen!”

Colleen executed a flawless elbow strike. “With a really big sword!” she said. “It’s cooler that way.”

“Matty!”

Matt stopped. “Can’t we just send them to jail?” he asked, looking troubled. “My dad says bad guys should go to jail. But also that maybe you can pop ‘em one first.” He waved his fists in the air threateningly.

Coach Stick rolled his eyes. “Go back to your form, Matty.”

Matt sighed and did a flying spin kick.

“Ellie!”

Ellie ignored her form and calmly moved into a back walkover. “I’m not telling you,” she said.

Coach Stick’s eyebrows went up. “Oh? And why not?”

Ellie grinned, upside down. “Because then you’ll know it’s coming.”

Coach Stick grinned back. “Good girl. Danny!”

“DEATH FROM ABOVE!” Danny screeched, leaping down from a basketball hoop at Coach Stick’s head. Coach Stick stepped to the side and snagged Danny out of the air by the back of his gi. He dangled there helplessly. Colleen burst into giggles, while Davos looked mildly scandalized.

“Danny, how many times do I have to tell you?” Coach Stick said, sounding very put-upon. “Don’t announce your sneak attacks. You’re never going to kill me this way.”

Ellie grinned wider.

“Rawr,” Danny said, baring his teeth.

“And you’re not a dragon, either.” Coach Stick let him drop to the floor. “Go spar with Colleen. Ellie, you’re with Davos. Matty, with me.”

They broke into pairs. “Coach likes _me_ best,” Ellie murmured as Matt passed her.

“Does not!” he protested, stomping his foot.

They sparred until gym class was nearly over. Coach Stick mixed and matched the pairs, critiquing the technique of whoever he was paired with and ignoring various cries of outrage or betrayal from the others. Ellie slipped under Matt’s guard with a kick to the face; he sat down hard with a bloody nose and a smitten expression. Colleen and Danny found practice katanas in Coach Stick’s office and accidentally broke a lamp in the middle of a wild joust. Davos’s scandalized expression deepened.

After about an hour Coach Stick waded in and rescued Davos from Danny’s attempt at “hug-fu,” and Matt from Colleen’s chokehold. “Okay, go get changed, you monsters,” he said. “And Matty, take your gi home, it’s all bloody. Again.”

Ward slouched up just as the younger kids came running out of the locker rooms. Pulling his shirt over his head had started Matt’s nose bleeding again.

“You kick really hard, Ellie,” he said admiringly.

“I know,” she said, examining her fingernails.

“Ugh, gross,” Ward said, and sniffed. “You babies stink. I hate being gym monitor.”

The second graders bowed to Coach Stick - “Bye, Coach!” “Yeah, whatever.” - followed Ward out of the gym. Colleen walked close behind him, stepping on the backs of his shoes and making him walk out of them.

“Quit it!” he snapped, whirling on her. She giggled and ducked behind Davos.

“You should respect your elders,” Davos told her disapprovingly.

“Why Ward, though?”

Davos thought about it. “I guess not Ward,” he agreed finally.

“Listen here, you little - ” Ward started. “Hey, wait, there’s only four of you brats. Where’s Danny?”

“DEATH FROM ABOVE!”

It wasn’t much of a sneak attack, but Ward hit the linoleum hard anyway. Coach Stick would have been proud.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't feel bad for Ward, he deserves it.
> 
> Please come ask me questions about this universe here or [on tumblr](http://pluckyredhead.tumblr.com/), it's my favorite!


End file.
